The Musings of a Veteran Journalist
THE BRONX – As the rampant release of factual information continues to reach all-time highs, the Department has ordered the Rumor Production Unit (RPU) to work mandatory 24-hour tours, sources say. The change comes amid an urgent need to replace facts and official statements in favor of conjecture and misguided rumors.
MANHATTAN – Earlier today, a vocal group of rioters rallied in Times Square to demand answers after a police officer shot a brick that was headed right for his face, the Times has learned. The group of rioters, who have nothing to do with rightfully angry yet peaceful protesters, gathered to call out what they felt was a rush to use force without first exhausting all other available options.
MANHATTAN – As members of all ranks assigned to headquarters have been tasked with suiting up and manning posts in the area around headquarters, multiple members of the service have suddenly been swamped with work and rendered unable to be the police, sources say.